Just fell off a train. Bad.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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