Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i think we sleep fucked last night...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
