My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
