I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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