she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
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there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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