have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
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I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
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When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions