Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.