But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.