She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
