Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
