Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
