i just wanna soil my oats bro
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
