No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize