I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
