brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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