Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
