Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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