i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
