He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
