Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
