i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
