Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
