I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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