What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
