My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
