So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
