dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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