we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"