Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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  (417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae
  Replies (12) Good night (4513) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.

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  (910): me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a. http://tfl.nu/1fan
  Replies (5) Good night (2386) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

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  (832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1
  Replies (15) Good night (1673) Bad night (4368)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

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  (401): i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems http://tfl.nu/61dr
  Replies (13) Good night (1238) Bad night (3023)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.

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  (917): Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/c8gk
  Replies (2) Good night (3181) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.

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  (401): Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one. http://tfl.nu/yysi
  Replies (4) Good night (4234) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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  (860): We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no" http://tfl.nu/13gy
  Replies (7) Good night (2462) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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  (207): You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?! http://tfl.nu/i02d
  Replies (15) Good night (1861) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.

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  (603): I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him. http://tfl.nu/nzef
  Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im coming down to miami this weekend

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  We shall drink from the everclear river

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  (330): Im coming down to miami this weekend (1-330): We shall drink from the everclear river http://tfl.nu/wehk
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.

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  (919): You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober. http://tfl.nu/j9kh
  Replies (0) Good night (481) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.

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  (619): I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/w9hf
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.

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  (416): Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch. http://tfl.nu/1d55
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.

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  (865): I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night. http://tfl.nu/6hpf
  Replies (0) Good night (187) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"

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  (480): After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?" http://tfl.nu/3vzy
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (197)

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