Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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