I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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