Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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