girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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