Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
