Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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