I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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