That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
