The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
