i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
