First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
