Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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