he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
