ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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