I CAN MOONWALK!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
