I love black thongs
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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