Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
