Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
