Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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