I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
