she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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