They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
