Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
