as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
