My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
