I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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