So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
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No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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