Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize