you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
